Age of Chaos and Reasoning

New Journal!!!!

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 02:34:21 GMT

So changes are good and all that so I am going to do it!!!

My new LJ is michaelman333

Feel free to add me or not it is all up to you :)

YES I am alive and pumped !!!!

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 01:07:16 GMT

I am alive and pumped for a Great show by my friend and mentor ERIC HIMAN!!!!

WOOHOO!!!! So here is the deal I hope to see all my Seattle friends out and about on Tuesday
Aug 23
Seattle, WA
Sunset Tavern
8:00 PM
5433 Ballard Ave
Seattle, WA Cover $8.00 21+ show

I look forward to seeing and meeting many of you out there :)

www.erichiman.com

I have also taken some time and decided to start a new journal more on that later :)

The Beginning of The End

Thu, 30 Jun 2005 06:50:11 GMT

So much thoughts passing through my brain. I call it swirling... I am worn to the edges with thoughts and feeling of restlessness and feeling bit lost.

I feel like I dont recognize my freinds anymore... I feel as if I am taking up space and that I am alone in the world .... I dont wanna go to work tomorrow I HATE IT!!!!!

So now i am beating around the bush ....

This will be my last journal entry in this journal... Musiklovr3 will no longer be here... I will have the journal here for a while longer... I wont delete for a while but I have found it odd to share so many things that are becoming increasingly personal in such an open forum.I will be working at keeping all people updated through other means. I am still finding it hard to get past the idea that when I talk to people that they say didnt you read my LJ... well no I want people to get a hold of me through other means ...

I do have email...michael_man333@comcast.net
a phone
IM--- AIM-michelman333
MSN-michael_man333@hotmail
Yahoo-mmichael_man333

I am actually working on getting a website ...
www.michaelleehoward.com
I will keep it up to date with all sorts of stuff it should be fun :)

I know that I may pop in to check on people but I just need some changes... and just for the RECORD this is all my own thinking and not what some people may assume it is ...

I am enjoying my space and enjoying it means getting closer to the REAL ME ...

I enjoy you and all and look forward to more direct contact :)

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 17:55:03 GMT

Last week HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME was the best yet… I thought the artists were great the audience loved the performances and there was a good time being had!!!!

So to recap last week… I know this is the stupidest entries ever but I am a fan LOL

CAMEO—I don’t really remember them from the 80’s but the reminded me a bit of OUTCAST.
"Word Up" -- What a way to kick the show off, very enjoyable
"1985" (Bowling for Soup) — this was OK but a bit bland…
WANG CHUNG — One of those bands I think never really got a ful break and kept making great albums through the 90’s
"Everybody have fun tonight" – sounded great took me back …
"Hot in Herre" (Nelly) – OK I was skeptical but the British really have a great way of making things fun and this was no exception.
SOPHIE B HAWKINS – I love Sophie and was so excited to see her getting out there and enjoying herself.
"Damn, I Wish I was Your Lover"—she crawled on the floor and threw her arms around … seemed to really being enjoying herself.
"100 Years" (Five for Fighting) — she turned this into a standard and it was great a def highlight of the evening and she looked fabulous
HOWARD JONES – I love HoJo and have for a years. I saw him in concert and met him about 12 years ago and I was so excited to see him. I guess on the online poll after the show Howard won the poll and the show prompted 4500 unique hits to his website www.howardjones.com, now that is kewl.
"No one is To Blame" – Loved the song great performance!!!
"White Flag" (Dido) – I had seen a clip of this form the UK version of this show but it was great to see him do it for audience here in the States.
IRENE CARA – I am not a HUGE fan but she was good despite the fact that her second song she came out with her girl group Hot Caramel…
"What a Feeling" – No surprises… unless you count here flashdance twirl which was kinda funny
"I’m All Outta Love" (Anastacia)- Done wither “Girl Group” I personally thought this one sucked ass…

AND THE WINNER WAS: Irene Cara … damn she sucked but HOJO won the online poll so some people know good talent heheheh

So this week we have
BILLY VERA – “At This Moment” & No Cover listed yet
CLUB NOUVEAU – “Lean On Me” & No Cover listed yet
GLASS TIGER (Love them!!) – “Don’t forget me when I’m Gone” & “Everything You want” (Vertical Horizon)
GREH KIHN – “The Breakup Song” & “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”(Green Day)
THELMA HOUSTON – “Don’t Leave me this way” & No Cover listed yet

ALSO:: There is a new show on FX afterwards at 10. It is called 30days and it is the Morgan Spreelock that did SUPER SIZE ME. It is a great show… check it out 
Hugs everyone
M

Its all Jays fault

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 22:46:38 GMT

I got tagged by 1982splash so here's the 10 celebrities that I think are hot. Which is not easy, since I really don’t think in terms of hotness but talent … but I will try. In no particular Order

10. Rob Thomas
9. Ashley Judd
8. Darren Hayes
7. Sarah Mclachlan
6.Natalie Portman
5. Eric Himan
4. Kevin Spacey
3. Christian Bale
2. Elijah Wood
1.

and to continue this tradition, I'm tagging divine_flux, duckylick, grubbybastard, twisting_path, & xjennersonx

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 00:09:00 GMT

IN honor of one of my fave singer's I have a new page layout with Eric on it thanx to BF he is the kewlest :)

Check it out :)

Hugs
m

New Cure lineup

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 22:14:28 GMT

YAY!!! I am excited i just read the new Cure lineup will be a Quartet....

Robert/Simon/Jason / and PORL will be back in the fold...

No keyboardist I guess.. I am excited :)

M

Week Three

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 07:31:33 GMT

That is right I am actually keeping track of HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!!!!

So Last week was as follows :

THE KNACK:
My Sharona-- Was actuallt good sounded about the same
Are You Gonna Be My Girl (Jet)- This was interesting and I thought it was ok

TOMMY TUTONE:
867-5309/Jenny-- Not bad sounded about the same as well ..
All The Small Things (Blink 182)-- The lead singer looked like his eyes were going to pop outta his hhead ,... very scary :)

THE MOTELS:
Only The Lonely - I love this song and iot was great
Don’t Know Why (Norah Jones)- Didnt realize that the lead singer lives in seattle and works at Teatra Zinzabni. Well they made this lsong so likable ... I was very happy

HADDAWAY:
What is Love?-- Yeah poor guy has lost it... not that great
Toxic (Britney Spears)- OPMG a 30 some old guy rolling on the floor just looks sad... not good at all ..

VANILLA ICE:
Ice Ice Baby -- he looked like he was seriously having a blast
Survivor (Destiny’s Child)-- OK he turned into a rap song about him ... it was ok

AND THE WINNER WAS....VANILLA ICE

I am particularly excited about tonight's show for those of you who know me and my Howard Jones story ... he is great and the show has 5 great people on it :) YAY!!!
Here is the line-up ... latz :)

CAMEO-- "Word Up" & "1985" (Bowling for Soup)
HOWARD JONES -- "Noone is To Blame" & "White Flag" (Dido)
IRENE CARA -- "What a Feeling" & "Im All Outta Love" (Anastacia)
WANG CHUNG--"Everybody have fun tonight" and "Hot in Herre" (Nelly)
SOPHIE B HAWKINS -- "Damn,I Wish I was Your Lover" & "100 Years" (Five for Fighting)

More Hit Me Baby One More Time

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 22:11:06 GMT

So tonight is week two of
HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME
Last week was great 
In case you haven’t heard of the show … take artists from the 80’s and early 90’s and have they come on a show and sing one of their hits and then something new by a modern artist. Then the audience votes and someone wins

RECAP WEEK ONE:
LOVERBOY: They looked like potatoes in jeans LOL
Working for the Weekend: (sounded ok I guess not same lead singer from the 80’s)
Hero (Enrique Iglesias): Can we say painful!!!

CECE PENISTON: I guess she will be at Seattle pride so kinda a preview
Finally: sounded great and CECE looked very good
There You’ll Be (Faith Hill): Not the best choice but it was ok …

A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS: One of my faves from the 80’s I loved them and was a fan of more than I Ran. Lets just say the hair is gone.
I Ran: They are probably tired of this song and it seemed very rushed and forced.
On The Way Down (Ryan Cabrerro):Now lets be honest and say I would never have thought of this combination … but AFOS actually really reinvented the song and I actually really like it 

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT: I was never a HUGE fan, but I liked the tunes, and thought there were fun and different.
Tennessee: Their big hit sounds great and nice to see them still around
Heaven (Los Lonely Boys):I hate this song … that is until Arrested Development did … they made it fun and different and it was great to see 

TIFFANY: OK Anyone who know me knows I love her. My first concert and I saw her a few years ago. She has a new dance album out on CDBABY and put out a great album a few years back called the Color of Silence. She also won the UK version of the show.
I Think Were Alone Now: Her voice stronger and that audience loved her … though I later found out she was just recovering from Bronchitis.
Breakaway (Kelly Clarkson):I though she did a good job .. it is a hard song to sing 

And the winner was ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT 

So tonight is WEEK TWO and here are the performers:
THE KNACK: My Sharona & Are You Gonna Be My Girl (Jet)
TOMMY TUTONE: 867-5309/Jenny & All The Small Things (Blink 182)
THE MOTELS: Only The Lonely & Don’t Know Why (Norah Jones)
HADDAWAY: What is Love? & Toxic (Britney Spears)
VANILLA ICE: Ice Ice Baby & Survivor (Destiny’s Child)

Sounds like an interesting nite 
I promise an actuall update soon 
Hugs
M

YAY!!!! I am BLOOD

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 22:38:57 GMT

You Are Blood
"and you remind me of my sanity doctor
teleport me out of your design
this is fear- welcome to my little flood
and now-give me a little of your blood "
Strong and independent, you can be a bit vengeful when someone hurts you. When you make mistakes, you learn from them and you tend to use your pain to get over the situation. No one could ever accuse you of being docile and timid. You are an intense and mercurial person who doesn't shy away from conflict and will never go unnoticed in a crowd!

Which Standing at the Edge song are you?
brought to you by A Shift Inside and Quizilla

Hit me one more time

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 00:59:27 GMT

I just wanted to share my excitement with the world...

tonight at 9 is the new show from the UK... HIT ME ONE MORE TIME ... it is a show where 80's artists play an older song and a song fomr recent days ...
tonight is
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
CECE PENNISTON
A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS
LOVERBOY
AND TIFFANY (One of my faves)

There is supposed to be other people as the seasons goes on :)(
Hugs
M

:) hey !!!

Wed, 11 May 2005 19:50:27 GMT

“All the fear has left me now/ I’m not frightened anymore/It’s my heart that pounds beneath this flesh/It’s my mouth that pushes out this breathe”

I am not exactly sure why this sing is sitting in my head at all… it has been there since last night… I am adjusting to a new life away from the people and thing I know. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing either. Dusty had a great analogy last night…

In life there are 4 main arenas (that is what I will call them) to maintain:

RELATIONSHIPS: there have been so many changes in this category for me… one of my best friends moved across the country, I moved away from most of my friends... mostly for my sanity but it is still a bit hard….

HOME: Um can we say chaotic… It has been a crazy trying to get settled… I worked at moving stuff this past weekend and all it went well except for the fact that the couch I got didn’t fit into the apt., so I am working on that one now… seeing what I can do for something new on a budget LOL!!! I took the last week to just get away from a lot of things… so I have spent a great deal of time at Dusty’s so I haven’t really established a home yet…

WORK: Well this turned into a fiasco but yesterday I started my new job, Medical Billing in Olympia. I worked doing some billing but this is a whole new ballgame… it is way too soon to tell if I will like it or not but I was just told that I am catching on pretty fast… shock shock… but it is still a HUGE adjustment.

INTERESTS/HOBBIES: Well I haven’t really figured out the lay of the land yet so I am not sure what all is here in Oly to occupy my time… But I don’t have my computer here yet so I haven’t been doing huge amounts of writing… I need to play on my guitar though, maybe some time tonite… I am hoping soon to get a bit more acclimated to my surroundings…

Dusty said that these are 4 areas of life are like car tires. Usually when one is blown at least you have the other three to help you out… well the thing is that I have all four tires blown… hehehehe that is an adjustment that scared and terrified me the other night… but I am doing better… just trying to get into a routine.. an adjustment…

I also have stepped away form a few things… some people have questions my motives and lied about some things in a group I was very active in … I have stepped away and I feel pretty good about that… I am hoping that I can eventually get people to know the truth… but at least I know the truth….

Aside from that I have just been busy with ME and I am enjoying that… Olympia is treating me well so far… and soon I know I will be back on my feet and life will smooth out a bit J

“If I shed a tear I won’t cage it/I won’t fear love/and if I feel a rage I won’t deny it/ I won’t fear love”

“Peace in the struggle to find peace comfort on the way to comfort”

Huge hugs

Shadow

Thu, 05 May 2005 22:18:18 GMT

Sometimeswe are just shadows drifting and moving and not wanting to be right in front of everyone...

I did just that :) I am currently a shadow and enjoying it :) Well lets see .. I ended up getting so mad at my boss that I told her off ... in a nice way but I do feel good about it!!! So I decided this week before I start my new job to take a sabbatical... I feel oretty good about that decision... Though it makes me poor as hell....

I am taking donations LOL... Just ask how :)

IN all seriousness.. I am broke and not sure how i am going to make it for the next couple of weeks but i am sure it will work out somehow. I feel very good about my decision and gives me some time to spend with Dusty for the next wfew days...and get settled...

It actually looks as if I will be finishing my move this weekend and that will put me in heaven :)

anyway more to update later :) i am back to my self induced sabbatical :)

Huge hugs

This is a hoot!!!!

Mon, 02 May 2005 22:33:57 GMT

1. Take the lyrics to a favourite song.
2. Go to Google Language Tools: translate the lyrics into German, then from German to French, and finally from French back into English. http://www.google.com/language_tools
3. Post the results verbatim.
4. Invite friends to guess the song based on the interesting new lyrics.

I picked "From the Edge Of The Deep Green Sea" - The Cure

Each time if we do that me, you fall for their vagueness, after the wave, after the wave is, all for it that I know that this one injustice I (and I am to hold his happy) cannot be known as so a long time, as I know it that you know that today, me belong towards the line here with you right here with you..., And thus, we pay attention the sun to come in top from the edge from the sea tiefgruenen and let us hear them as their head on fires how she would like to believe in me, me thus use your hands in the delivery of sky me recall test that we are here for always and we never say on re-examining..., I never was, but Colourfully-sehen-durch-Kopf, before I never was, should not consider it more thus and all them that I wish, this one can you and myself only the kiss has secret and will not let at the house leave this fine asks as the current day not to remain right to let me go them says thus regards me as million days miles hundred, but it slows down suddenly and considers to the bottom my breakable face, why you cry? what do I have says? But it is far sweeping straight lines with the rains which I mouse, my tears..., I wish that I could precisely stop me know me that another moment breaks my heart much much tears with the mark much of years that I cried rueber you, how much of with more uses us can to him in top? Do you drink it dry? do you take this drug? Slightly however seeking after something for always we always wish gone? Why why, why, you let to me go? it says that I believe that you believe myself me withdrawing to deform you..., And precisely I break freely, hangs to me their before me evidence his behaviour like a flag of marking to the floor and hands in the sky transmit him to all..., me wishes that I could precisely stop me know me that another moment breaks my heart much much tears with the mark much of years that I cried for you, him it even always awakes in the head of rain in the pain hung in the names different from dishonour has those same old men loves of play in futile and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles of the house... is again distant

Sun, 01 May 2005 17:48:44 GMT

This was posted today by Dusty... you know sometimes we get caught up in our own self induced muck....We forget about the simple things in life and the blessings we all have in this life time... 10 years ago Dusty lost someone close to him... a friend named Bill---
Thanks Baby fo sharing

"bill dealt with his own depression as well as the hate and fear that homophobia throws your way for a number of years before he grew too tired to take anymore. years ago, bill's mother created a website for her son and his story which you can view at: http://www.youth-guard.org/gabi/index.html if you are interested in hearing more.

i wanted to suggest though, that you take just a moment to remember those you have loved and those you have lost. and to remember to cherish what you have with those who are still here.

so to bill… who was sensitive and funny. who didn't always bathe (haha) and had a tendency to make all the wrong decisions with regards to his heart. whom i love, and i miss..."

Warning this is Long But Fun :)

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 23:04:01 GMT

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me" or something equivalent.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions, and believe me they may be in depth, so you are forewarned.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post, optional.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

These are the questions from forrestunknown

1) What aspects/personality traits/stories/ scandals do you feel are the most circulated about you? These can run the entire spectrum, but rate them on the scale of their diffusion to the general populace (1 being the most popular or widely spread and going to a lesser scale from there), and try to come up with at least 5. How distorted are they from the original truth, and in what ways have you amplified or tried to shun such instances?

1) Wow!!! This is a great question… I live my life pretty open booked now. There used to be huge amounts of gossip about me being GAY when I was married but of course that turned out to be true LOL !!!! At this point I can only come up with three.
*The most common aspect of me that is circulated about me is that I am too nice. There may truth to this in that I truly try and respect all people’s points of view and try to see all sides of the puzzle. Truth be told though… I used to spend a great deal of time saying the right thing to make everyone happy. More recently, I have this habit of speaking up a bit more and I have noticed that people in my life are adjusting to it … though they are seeming to like the more bold Michael.

*There is another trait that people seem to perceive me as being a bit slow, or dense. This is the farthest form the truth. I am a very thought out person and I filter my thoughts over a period of time. I am very intelligent and I try to dissuade this notion by picking the right time and place to say what I need to say!!

*A lot of people perceive me as prude and not very sexual. Truth be told I think that I perpetuated this one by trying to be “a good modest boy”. In the past I would say what I believed everyone wanted me to say (see the first aspect). As I have grown in the past couple years I have realized how natural it is to be a SEXUAL being. I am definitely excited to explore this more and truth be told I have a very dirty and active sexual imagination

2) How do you personally define fear? In what way is it a partner within your life, especially since it may take on multiple forms creating a polyamorous relationship? Do you accept or deny it, or in what ways do you disguise it?

2) Since a young age fear and I have grown and surfaced to gain a respect for each other. I used to be a afraid of a lot of things. Ever since my fathers death a HUGE fear of death which manifested itself into years of very intense dreams, all involving Dying. I used to be afraid of everything but I have found that being that afraid of things halts your productivity as an adult. Now I am afraid of very little. I use fear as a way to make me stringer and to help me grow as a human being.

3) During a period in which you are single, you are infected with a nonfatal but incurable STD. Such a disease will affect your ability to have children and a fully healthy life. How would this alter the future that you already have written in your mind, what would be changed? Are there any possible positive ramifications, or all they all negative?

3) HMMM… This is a great question… I think if I was dealt a blow like this it would obviously change my life. Lets see, first off in regards to children I am still not sure if I want them, but I know that there are always other options in regards to adopting and such. I would def try and find a balance between life and search possible cures. I would prob not really seek out a relationship though. I would definitely not want to be a burden to anyone. Though I don’t think that there would all be negative in a situation like that … I think that it would very possible that I could have time to reevaluate my life.

4) Music. This form of art appears to be highly important to you and continues to progress with intrinsic value to you. How do you use music, whether your own or others as an excuse? Though its an outlet, in what ways does it cause damage to you because every gift has its razor's edge?

4) Yes!!! It is amazing how something you love can have a double sided twist. I was drawn to music at a young age as a form of escape. I still escape sometimes through music. The down side is that there are many people out there making their own music, the down side is that it can become a form of art that can make one lose self awareness in trying to be the NEXT BIG THING. The fixation to be adored and loved for your art and form of expression can become addictive. It takes a strong person to not give into that !!!!

5) Its time to create a pentagram of power, a coven in some ways. Assign a person to each of the points based on the strength of their character and associations to the element. You may or may not be included within the context, if you choose not be associated with any particular point, you can be the invoker within the middle of the symbol, neutral and directing. The 5 points are earth, air, water, fire, and spirit. Give me an analysis of the dynamics of this grouping, some may know one another, others may not. How will the interactions between the five you selected affect the overall core standing and function within the group?

5) A pentagram of power hmmmm –
Lets start with our elements on each of the points
*EARTH—I would definitely put my Mom in this spot… she is my grounding force, keeps my feet planted very firmly in place when I start to lose myself in the world.
*AIR—This would be Dusty. He stepped in from a dram and helps me keep my head in the clouds. Though he has a balance he helps me see the possibilities of things I never thought possible.
*WATER—Danielle would be my water. She is someone there who is constantly changing and growing and helping me when I just need to go with the flow of what this crazy life has to offer.
*FIRE—My consistent Fire would Mike. My step dad. He has always been a constant battling force in my life. He is the one who make me angry, feel low, and even though it has been years since we spoke… his shadow is always there … as if he will never let go. A reminder of the low me.
*SPIRIT—This would be my grandmother Flore-Anne. She has been a guide through my life… she passed away many years ago but I still feel her presence near me always.
I would be the one who balances out the forces by continuing to be there and take all these pieces and create a powerful human being, a super person who builds his strength form all the forces around me 

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 20:42:55 GMT

Your Birthdate: March 19

Your birth on the 19th day of the month adds a tone of independence and extra energy to your life path.

But at the same time, it poses a number of obstacles to overcome before you are able to be as independent as you would like. The number 1 energy suggests more executive ability and leadership qualities than your path may have indicated.

A birthday on the 19th of any month gives greater will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach. However, a somewhat self-centered approach to life that may be in conflict with some of the other influences in your life.

This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush.

You are sensitive, but your feeling stay somewhat repressed.

You have a compelling manner that can be dominating in many situations.

You do not tend to follow convention or take advice very well.

Consequently, you tend to learn through experience; sometimes hard experiences.

The 19/1 is a loner number and you may experience feelings of being alone even if you are married.

You may take on a tendency to be nervous and angry.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

PR man :)

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 23:36:11 GMT

After speaking with my freindly duckylick I realized that I havent posted much about some of the great music communities i am a part of.

**First off I will start with a new site that Dusty (and a tiny bit from me) worked on MY LITTLE FLOOD: This is a new site for Casey Stratton that is very extensive-- make sure to check out the fun forum and the purple couch.

**Another Great community that I belong to is the CASEY STRATTON YAHOO group... the people on this group are incredible and are very close knit ... I feel very lucky to be a part of such a great group.

** violetsuede and I co-moderate the new ERIC HIMAN YAHOO group... I hope this one to be good since Eric is just starting his great sumer tour.

**I also have a LJ group that I started a while back called singrsongwritr

Just a few of the many places I have worked on or use to supprt my fave artists :)

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 21:48:50 GMT

HAPPY BDAY GRESO2!!!!! HOPE THE NEXT YEARS IS A BLAST :)

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 17:45:21 GMT

WOW can it already be thursday ... Had to believe.... hmm lets recount the week so far.. .

Monday was a crazy rushing around day...first off I gave my notice that I will no longer work here after a MONTH. That felt good to do, I feel very good about that decision. I also had lunch with savsabrinafair it was nice to have a last lunch ... damn I am going to miss that gurl. Then after work helped her get rid fo some stuff !!! Then I packed and packed and packed.

Tuesday I worked and then went with duckylick to a (No Laughing) flag football game with his co workers in Kirkland. I know nothing about football but any chance to hang out with my Ducky. First we drove around trying to find some food.. A&W was closed and the burger king was converted into a STARBUCKS... That is when you know your in Seattle Area!!!Well we had a blast taking pics of Me and mini-Ducky... Then came home and more packing....

Wednesday was a bit relaxed yet still rushing around... I headed over to OLY after work and had an interview.. I think it went very well (cross your fingers)!!!Then to the new aptr to unpack my carload... and then finally back to Dusty's for some down time... we watched BIRTH w/ nicole Kidman!!! It wasnt bad a bit slow but very sad. Then I said my goodbyes to savsabrinafair then snacks and then we watched Lemony Snickets: A Series of Unfortunate Events !! I love this movie it was awesome .. and a great cast :) Then cuddle time and now we come today...

I going to see Danielle (My KAREN) tonite and try to organize my move on Sat!!! I am still looking for someone who wants to either let me borow thier truck or drive a load to OLY on Sat. We Will see....

and tomorow it looks like a LJ group of us are going to HITCHIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY

Hope everyone is well out there :)

Hugs

Dawn!!!

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 17:47:50 GMT

Today is Wednesday the 27th of April. It has been over a year and a half since we first met. But it seems as though we have been together a lifetime.

Today is sad to me because you are leaving... "leaving on a jet plane /I dont know when I'll be back again" ... Yet I know this is a great move for you... I just need you to know that you are such an important part of my life... New memeories will be made and we will share our incredible adventures from afar. I truly feel that my life would be less if it werent for you being in it. Who else can I act like a 10 year old and giggle about things like pooh(lol), Timm-ay, Gobbles, tee-hee.... I think most people thought we were always drunk or on something when we were together but truthfully I just felt comfortable.

I have had so much fun .. Gay Days, Hanging all day with Eric and Cas, film festivals, pride, Christmas, Drag Queens, and all the weekends that we arent even sure what we did. YOu opened my world up to the independant scene and I got to share my world of music. You have touched my life and I ma truly going to miss having you right here with me at a moments notice...

I love you GURL!!! I just wanted to tell you so !! You will be missed but we will see each other soon... You have changed my world and been there me and I thank you for that ... Remeber to think of me when ever you hear Jeremy ("Jeremy spok-ane/Spok- ane class today " LOL:)

I LOVE YOU!!!!!and remember O'HANA means family and family doesnt get left behind :)

With that I leave you with these words ... it is a sarah song that I think of you when I hear :)

PERFECT GIRL:
Am I faithful, am I strong
Am I good enough to belong
In your reverie a perfect girl
Your vision of romance is cruel
And all along I played the fool
All your expectations bury me

Don't worry

[Chorus:]
You will find the answer if you let it go
Give yourself some time to falter
But don't forgo this
Knowing that you're loved no matter what
And everything will come around
In time

I own my insecurities
I try to own my destiny
That I can make or break it if I choose
But you take my words and twist them 'round
'til I'm the one that brings you down
Make me feel like I'm the one to blame
For all this

[Chorus]

You need everybody with you on your side
Know that I am here for you
But I hope in time
You'll find yourself alright alone
You'll find yourself with open arms
You'll find yourself, you'll find yourself
In time

The riot in my heart decides
To keep me open and alive
I have to take myself away from you
'Cause I can't compete
I can't deny
There's nothing that I didn't try
How did I go so wrong in loving you

Don't worry

WEEKEND UPDATE

Mon, 25 Apr 2005 18:11:27 GMT

Wow the weekend just flew by and I am still taking it all in .... lets see I hope this isnt too long ....

FRIDAY-
So thanks to perkybitch I got to see Tori. The opening act Matt Nathanson was great. I wish I could have heard more... Def someone to check out. hexerei I think that you DID see me!!!
Tori played
Original Sinsuality/Yes, Anastasia/Take To The Sky/Blood Roses/Happy Phantom/Jamaica Inn/Cool On Your Island
Magic Man (Heart cover)/Eyes Without A Face (Billy Idol cover)
Beauty Queen/Horses/Marianne/Parasol/Cloud On My Tongue/Space Dog/The Beekeeper
1st Encore: The Power Of Orange Knickers/Putting The Damage On
2nd Encore: Ribbons Undone/Tear In Your Hand
I was totally blown way that she did a few of my faves... mostly Magic Man and Space Dog. Cloud on my Tongue was incredible as well... and Tear in your Hand is incredible with just Piano.
Then I headed to the Wild Rose for the goodbye festivities with savsabrinafair, shellylynn was there too. Then I took a drunk Dawn home ... Damn I am going to miss her :(

SATURDAY-
I was up early to take divine_flux to his final and then back home to pack as much as I could into my little car. I am amazed actually how good I am at packing up the car and gettingsoo much stuff in it. Then It was off to OLY for the start of moving in. I got my key and I am officially renting an apt in Oly. My place is cute and perfect size for me :) I cant wait to get the rest of my stuff there.
Then I went off to spend the rest of the day with Dusty... we watched some movies played scrabble and relaxed... i wasnt much fun though because I am having horrible allergies... UGH!!!

SUNDAY-
Went to the city market in Oly which was very nice, then hung around the house, I finished unpacking some things at my apt and then relaxed some more...We worked on some kewl stuff to add to the MY LITTLE FLOOD website. Which for those of you who want to know more on Casey Stratton check it out :)

It is now monday and I am still taking in all the events of the past week... I am a bit in mental shock... and trying to process the past days. It seems so many changes and I am excited to get the new chapter started. Life is crazy that way...

More thoughts later :)
M

:)

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 23:52:13 GMT

OH the changes that can occur in a week ... I am still reeling from all the venets of the past week. I got a call and I have a job interview on WED :) I seem to be able to get most jobs I interview for... I hope this stays true to my past :)

I am counting down 3hrs and 10 min til Tori :) I am excited THANX soo much AMBER!!! Such a crazy week. I am feeling so thankful ... If anyone wants to meet up before Tori let me know :)

That s all for now :)

Oh and I took this test which is so me :)

You're a little gold key, and you unlock other
people's hearts. Your kindness and willingness
to be there for those you care about lets
people open up to you knowing they will be
accepted. People will rely on you, but be
careful not to give more than you have.

What sort of key are you and what do you unlock?
brought to you by Quizilla

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 06:28:43 GMT

I went today and got my hermit crabs some sand. Someone had put them in rocks and they werent very social... I got rocks and Patsy has been sitting there looking out as of to say ... HEY this is kewl and it rocks....

I just had to share tis randomness...

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 22:33:21 GMT

I am wide awake yet half asleep. I am tired, worn to the edge with the thoughts of people and their views of who I should or shouldnt be. I am hoping to grow and lift my wings yet I feel as if the struggle will be a tough climb. I am Happy to do it though. GOD THINGS make me smile and help me to realize more of myself.

I am inspired but need quiet and space. A dark room, a hallway, a creative cave. I am always surrounded ... need to think... craziness is inherited and passion is lost and so is the hope for something better... Am I not alive and existing in myself!!! I DONT THINK I AM SELFISH!!! I am not self absorbed... I am just me... MICHAEL... though sometimes I want to change my name.

One name though rings in my head all day and I miss him sooo much on days like today... I just want to be close to him and be held and told it will all be alright. I want to be closer, I want to be near you!!!! I finally have found something that feels good ... It makes me smile. I feel good ... If I could only get there... I just have to give time to get it all oganized.

I am so random at this moment and I had to vent... I had to say things get them outta my head!!! I am going to get through today!!!!

Show a little inspiration, show a little spark
And show that things that drew me to you and stole my heart
And tell me something I don't know instead of everything I do
And look at me as if I mean something to you
Our hearts are beating while we sleep, but while we're wide awake
You know the world won't stop, and actions speak louder
Listen to your heart, and what your heart might say
Everything we got, we got the hard way

Show a little passion, baby, show a little style
And show the knack for knowing when and the gift for knowing how
And have a little trust in us when fear obscures the path
You know we got this far, darling, not by luck, but by never turning back
Some will call on destiny, but I just call on faith
That the world won't stop, and actions speak louder
Listen to your heart, to what your heart might say
Everything we got, we got the hard way
Caught up in our little lives, there's not a lot left over
I see what's missing in your eyes; you're searching for that field of clover
So show a little inspiration, show a little spark
Show the world a little light when you show it your heart
We've got two lives, one we're given and the other one we make
And the world won't stop, and actions speak louder
Listen to your heart, and your heart might say
Everything we got, we got the hard (everything we got, we got the hard way)
Everything we got, we got the hard way
(Because the world won't stop) hang on, baby...